May 30, 2011
Monday– Read the sections of Hidden Joy, titled “With Gratitude…” and “Our Journey BEGINS.” After reading, record in your journal your thoughts about proceeding through this study. What do you hope to gain through this study? What are your doubts about going through this study? Fears? What is your goal? Record a prayer for yourself. Write honestly to God. Be real, no masks, no hiding. If you are willing, share your prayer for yourself on Melissa’s blog today, but if you want to keep it between you and God, that’s totally fine too! It’s good to pray for yourself. Don’t ever feel selfish about doing that. In John17, Jesus prays for himself, His disciples, then for future believers. He begins with Himself. If it’s good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for us!
I have been putting off my assignment today ~ never a good sign. I have had lots to do today and the day has flown by but I still could have completed it first thing this morning. Will be going to work on my assignment right now……
Scripture today: I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26
Parts of the book that stood out to me:
- In this book, I will share the lessons I learned from God’s incredible story: the Bible. My prayer is that you too will see that His story is not merely a book but a love letter written especially for you. Hmmm, I think I have heard this from somewhere before. God has been preparing me for this journey for awhile now…..”love letters from God” was first whispered into my soul by a dear friend back in November.
- As you journey through this book, open your heart to what God has to speak to you.
- God led you to choose this book because He has a personal message for you, powerful Truths He wants to teach you, amazing love He wants to reveal to you, everlasting hope He wants to offer you. Listen for His voice. Search for the blessings hidden in your brokenness. Are you ready? Again hmmmm, these things have been shared with me by that same dear friend in addition to another dear friend (my twin, I like to call her lol) they were the messengers God used to plow my heart and prepare me for this…..Thank You LORD and thank you friends for readily accepting your role in my healing.
Thoughts on proceeding with this study: I am nervous but mostly eager and excited to put this behind me once and for all. I feel like I have been working up to this moment for months. I feel like am exactly where I am supposed to be.
What do I hope to gain: I hope to gain a sense of self, a confidence I have never had. I want to see my marriage (all aspects) as a true gift from God.
What are my doubts: That I won’t finish it to the end once I get uncomfortable.
Fears: That it will be painful and make things worse.
My goal: To no longer live in fear!
Prayer for myself:
Dear LORD, I come to You asking for Your arms of love, protection and mercy to hold me as I go through this process of healing. I have tried so many times before to be healed of this but it just seemed to make me sadder. I am so ready to be rid of all the guilt, shame, anger, hurt and the constant emptiness inside of me. I ask You LORD to please strengthen me, guide me and keep me within Your arms as I start this journey. I ask You to show me all my blessings and to remove all evil from my heart, mind and soul. Show me that I can let go ~ I have carried this for so long even though I am sick of it, it’s scary to let go of soemthing that has defined me forever. I ask You to restore me to the living; show me who I am in You; show me my worth; show me how special I am just as I am – that I don’t have to be like anyone else, that I can be me and that who I am is good enough; help me to trust (posting this is my first step in learning to trust); define me in Your eyes and not as a victim. Change me, create in me Your love. Help me to lay it all at Your feet so that in You I am for the first time made whole. Help me to turst in Your word and Your promises. And keep me forever within your shelter. Amen.
I am not a writer and especially of prayers, sometimes I just can’t get it into words what I want to express. But if I am going to learn to live, I am going to learn to trust so as hard as it is for me to put something I wrote on a website that anyone can read I am doing it trusting in the LORD that it doesn’t sound stupid, childish or idiotic. I can’t believe I am doing this so before I change my mind I am hitting submit!!!