June 10, 2011 ~ Day 13
Melissa posted a blog today on “Mixing it Up” over at Melissa Taylor Bible Study Blog
Today we were to pray the prayer for Chapter 2 ~
Heavenly Father, we come before You, our Sovereign and Holy God. Please reveal Yourself to us through Your Word. Make Yourself known in a specific way so that we know that it is You who is at work in our midst. Thank You that You are the One who redeems us from the pit of darkness and despair, You are the One who delivers us from our sorrow and pain, You are the One who brings peace in the midst of a storm, and You are the One who will fill all the empty and hurting places in our hearts. Show us in very real ways how wide and high and deep and long is Your love. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
My Notes, Thoughts and Posts
Today was a day of remembering the awesome things the LORD has done for me. The times He spoke so clearly and plain to my heart that was so battered and broken. I basked in the those remembered memories and feelings. My heart full of hope and joy. Today I CHOOSE to remember only the promises for God’s Word and the feelings of being loved!! Below are some posts that really touched me and I would like to remember:
* I read that when we get offended or angry, we can CHOOSE to respond to God or react to people. I also thought of this study and how we are talking about our emotions and pain. When things come up we can CHOOSE to respond to God and believe His Word and what He says about us, or react to our feelings and go into the pit of pity and despair. OK…I have heard this over and over, by many speakers..that we have a choice. For some reason, I have always felt that was true for others because they didn’t have my circumstances. Somehow last night I realized that I too can CHOOSE…yes me…It was like a lightbulb went on. I pray for all of us doing this study to realize that we may not have been able to choose what happened, or happens to us, but we can make choices on how to respond now that will affect our future. I pray that this knowledge moves from our heads to our hearts and that the healing that comes will be used by God to help others.
I responded to this post: WOW….thank you for sharing. You are so right. I too always thought that as well, ya we have a choice but I never had a choice in what happened to me. But you are right I didn’t have a choice then but I have a choice in front of me everyday!!!! Thank you for that reminder!
* Which of these Names God is revealing Himself to you today (please, choose only one – the one that BEST applies today)? Share with us why you made this choice.
I responded to this post: hmmmm…I would have to choose REDEEMER, it’s a long story but will shorten it as much as possible but without some background it doesn’t have the same impact. So here it goes:
Rough childhood (yada yada – you all can figure that out), always wanted my dad’s approval and love – never felt like I got it. Growing up he was very voilatile and I was afraid of him, he was never there for me growing up…his biker buddies were more important to him, he broke promises all the time. Fast forward to I am newly married have two babies, we moved to my husband’s home state, moved in with his parents, it’s around 11:00 at night and my MIL gets angry about something my toddler did – she literally kicks me out in the middle of the night with 2 babies and I have only been in the state for a week I can’t even find my way to the grocery store, she said if I didn’t leave immediately she would call the cops on me (hubby was working graveyard shift) I thought ‘oh you wait until my hubby hears this he is going to have a fit’ I was wrong he NEVER said a word to his mother. I was furious (again too long of a story) now fast forward to Jan 2003, my mother dies very suddenly (she was 49). My dad travels with us to her funeral – that was probably the closest I felt to my dad and I thought okay new starts great! Well on my mom’s birthday a couple of months later my dad remarries. I was distraught as it was the first birthday without my mom, I am attending my dad’s wedding and it’s a biker wedding which brings up a whole bunch of memories, dealing with the memories flying at me, my mom’s birthday, keeping a VERY close eye on my children!! Right after the ceremony my new step-mother turned to me and said “quit being a little B****, your mother is gone deal with, quit being selfish and quit your damn pouting” my dad was standing right there, he NEVER said a word except to get mad at me.
Later that weekend I was reading my Bible….The Book of Matthew and I remembering reading a verse that said “if others cause you to sin….stay away from them” (I am paraphrasing of course) so I said to my husband – “do you think this means I can quit being around my family, b/c whenever I am with them I get hateful thoughts” he said to me “why does this matter to you so much that you want to find a scripture that tells you it’s okay to not have any contact with your family.” I said “it’s not that! It’s that for once, once in my life I want someone to LOVE ME, to stand up for me, to fight for ME. My dad didn’t do it, you never did it with your family, I just want to know that I am worth something to someone” and I kid you not I heard a voice not in my head, but an actual voice as if there was another person in the room say to me:
“Veronica, I did” it stopped my cold – I looked around and my eyes turned to the Cross hanging on my bedroom wall. Oh I can’t even describe to you what that did for me and what it did to me!!!! I just started crying like never before (even now recounting the story I am remembering exactly how I felt). Three little words held so much: I did love you that much, I died for you, I love you that much now, My death wasn’t for nothing, I stood up for you against all evil that day on the Cross, you don’t need anyone else’s love.
Oh how could I forget that day until right now! It’s all floodiing back, it’s taking away the horrible memories, it’s reminding me that in HIM I AM TOTALLY HEALED, LOVED AND WORTHY OF HIS MERCY, GRACE, FORGIVENESS AND LOVE!!!!!
Thank you sooooo much for asking this question. I had forgotten that in the day to day life I forgot that day and the sweet peace that flowed through me!!! Wow, last night I relived another such day and this morning I relived this wonderful day – God is so good to give me these reminders!!!
* My post ~ It’s a new day!!! It’s a day to start new beginnings or stay stuck in the past. I am taking Melissa’s point of view – I am going to mix it up and believe only good things, Praise the LORD in all I do today (even my housecleaning). I have been stuck too long in the negativity and mixing it up means NO MORE NEGATIVE thoughts, actions or words!!! I am also going to use the reminder from Michelle and CHOSE to follow God instead of reacting to people. Oh I am excited for this day!!!! Spring in my step, a smile on my face and only God’s promises in my mind.
* My post ~ After praying the prayer for chapter 2 twice today, I have to say for me I need the prayer of: “You are the One who will fill all the empty and hurting places in our hearts”. I so want to fill the emptiness inside me with the LORD!!!
* Just picked up the mail and so excited ~ my book came in (I had been using my NOOK)!~ It felt like Christmas morning Thank you so much Wendy for the sweet note you wrote in my book and the scripture verse ~ can I just say WOW, it really opened my eyes and it was absolutely PERFECT for me Thank you so much. Thank you Melissa for this study and soooo much more. I hope you are feeling better this afternoon and that you have a fantastic weekend. I can’t thank you and Wendy enough for everything! The Scripture that was wrote by Wendy in my book was Isaiah 40:28-30:
Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. HE does not faint or grow weary; HIS understanding is unsearchable. HE gives power to the faint, and to HIM who has no might HE increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted.
Have a good night and enjoy your Saturday, I will not be posting tomorrow but will be going to the Princess Di Exhibit at Union Station, with my hubby, daughter and one of bestest closest friend. Will miss my other bestest and closest friend. Please pray for her as she has a broken foot and infection in both eyes.
My prayer for this evening:
This day has seen YOUR glory in the works of man in the providence of YOUR graces, O LORD, and, thought the shadows grow deeper, may the brightness of YOUR love shine upon us still in the quiet of our rest. Protect us, LORD, until the new dawn and the wonder of our coming to YOU in the glory of YOUR promise. Amen!