June 24, 2011 ~ Day 27
Still on Day 24 assignment. I am very behind on posting daily but it has been an extremely busy Friday – Tuesday. Still not caught up on all my assignment’s, but that’s okay. Life happens and I want to live that life!!!
So I would like to get caught up on posting my journal responses for Day 24 (6/21/11).
Pg 53 – Wendy writes “He continued to point me to His Word, where I would find my answers. The burden was on me. I had to take the step of faith and look beyond my circumstances. I had to make a conscious choice to trust Him.” I can feel God tapping me on the arm saying “why would it be different for you?” I need to do the work, I need to help myself heal and the only way is to let God do His Work in me. (since I am behind I can tell you on Day 23 vlog – this hit home big time!!!! stay tuned it gets good)
Pg 53 ~ Wendy writes “I too wanted to believe God could heal me, but like the father, I was not sure that I fully trusted God. I experienced fleeting moments of trust” OH break through moment!!! maybe the reason I suffer from this is because I am fighting for what I think my healing should look like. What if I asked God what His plan for me healing looked and felt like. To keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is called insanity. Maybe if I trusted God fully and followed HIS plan I would see the results of my healing. I would have a better deeper relationship with Jesus and with my loved ones.
Pg 54 ~ Wendy writes “Just because I believed in God and lived a good life did not guarantee I would not experience deep pain and suffering. God’s Word states the opposite. It plainly says that painful trials are a part of God’s plan for my life……Our suffering has a purpose beyond what we see from our limited perspective.” This is the hard part, this is the part where it matters as a Christian that you really truly have faith and want to walk with Christ.
Pg 56 ~ Wendy writes about her friend Lendy and the birth of Lendy’s child – who was born with Down Syndrome. She goes on to write “yet Lendy had an uncomprehensible peace. She trusted God fully and completely.” I want that!!!! I want to fully trust God in my life, in the lives of my children, in my marriage, in every aspect of my life! I want to be able to embrace all the LORD has in store for me with gladness and joy, no matter the circumstances. There is a reason I am mother to my son and daughter, instead of resenting my hardships I need to focus on trusting God and His plan.
Pg 56 ~ “Lendy has peace; she trusted God with His plan and surrendered hers!” This is where I need to be refined! Instead of complaining, moping and being depressed about how things are not as I planned in this season of my life. I need to ask God “ok, now what — what do You want me to learn, to embrace, to focus on?” Or like a friend said weeks ago “a door that shut is just another chance to find out what God has in store for you” and for some reason that really hit my heart. I thought “I need to go look for the other door then instead of standing here at this closed door crying and banging on it to open” I have spent many years banging on that door that consists of my hopes and dreams for my son, instead of looking for that door God opened, I don’t even know where to find that door 😦
Pg 57 ~ Wendy continues with Lendy’s story “in the midst of her suffering, she drew closer to God. She trusted that God would use this event in her life to accomplish His work” How long have I caused myself untold grief by through a fit about it not going as I planned? How much better if I would have sough God’s Will for my life and that of my children? How many lies and heartache’s and how many more blessings have I missed out on?
Pg 57 ~ “God alone knows exactly what you and I must endure in order to form His character in us. It is in our trials that God refines us and removes our impurities. Like refined gold, when we pass through our trials, people will see His perfect reflection is us.” This is what I strive for…I want people to see Christ when they look at me, I want to proclaim His goodness and His love. I have always wanted that but I realize I wanted it the easy way and that is not what brings people to Christ. What brings people to Christ is in SPITE of our trials and circumstances we are still living a life of joy, happiness and love that has nothing to do with our circumstances, our station in life or what we feel ~ it’s because we are living with Christ in our hearts!!!
Well still more journaling left so I will break here and post part 3 this afternoon, need to get ready for my day: work, chiropractor appointment, picking up paint and then painting my daughter’s room. It’s Friday people enjoy the weekend.