This morning as I awoke the word “grace” was on my heart, as I read my Bible for different Scriptures on grace, another word came to me “intimacy.” I was directed to a Scripture that was perfect (as always the LORD is) ~ Song of Songs 4:15. After reading the Scripture and notes I was more in awe of the LORD.
You are a garden fountain, a well of living water, as refreshing as the streams from the Lebanon mountains. ~ Song of Songs 4:15
Notes: Solomon’s bride was as refreshing to him as a fountain. Could your spouse say the same about you? Sometimes the familiarity that comes with marriage causes us to forget the overwhelming feelings of love and bliss we shared at the beginning. Many marriages could use a course in refreshing. Do you refresh your spouse, or are you a burden of complaints, sorrows and problems? Partners in marriage should continually work at refreshing each other by an encouraging word, an unexpected gift, a change of pace, a surprise call or note, or even withholding of a discussion of some problem until a proper time. Your spouse needs you to be a haven of refreshment because the rest of the world usually isn’t.
When I read that I instantly thought of all the times I have been a burden to Larry after he has worked a long hard day and probably needed me to be his refreshing haven. All the times he needed me and I turned him away, consumed with what I needed and my own selfishness. And for the first time I saw a glimpse of how awesome and wonderful the intimacy of marriage is – how it’s a very awesome and amazing gift from the LORD. Only we tow can give this gift to each other. For the first time I saw this area of marriage as a true blessing and not something to be endured. I saw God’s hand in continued healing for me in this area ~ even though the Hidden Joy study has been over for almost 3 weeks my healing is continuing as I come to Him everyday and allow Him to lead me. My prayer:
Dear LORD allow me to be my husband’s safe haven. Continue to show me how amazing this gift of yours is to our marriage. Make our marriage stronger than ever before through You. Help us to grow closer to you as a married couple and as individuals so that we always give You glory. Strengthen us LORD and change our hearts that when we need a safe haven our spouse is able to be that for us. That as we run into the arms and love of each other we are feeling Your arms wrap around us as well. That what we are giving to each, we are also giving to You. Remind us that 2nd to You our marriage is the most important thing we have. In Jesus’ Name I pray ~ Amen!
It was an amazing time with the LORD this morning. He opened my heart, eyes and ears in a new way so that I can continue to heal but also so I can live fully. So I was equally in awe when I picked up my Jesus Calling devotion and read this morning’s devotion. But let me backtrack a little.
When I woke up with the word “grace” on my heart. I thought this was in relation to my son and the issues he is facing. I still believe that ~ I am thinking God is leading me to offer my son my grace instead of my usual “if you would listen to me, things for you would be better” (because God could say the same to us). All I know is that my son is broken – his relationship with all of us has taken a downward spiral and he needs a lot of support. What has happened in the incident of this week is just a part of his issues I believe. I believe there is so much more to this – not with the incident but with what my son is feeling and the things he is thinking. Right I think he blames us (or at least me) instead of focusing on how his actions got him to this point. He refuses our phone calls, he is angry when speaking to us, he has no interest in the most important thing in his life until now – his cat! I think he is hitting rock bottom or close enough – so I really thought this morning was about my son and how to help him through. But now I think the LORD is showing me things are going to get worse before they get better. The LORD is telling me “you will need to find a safe haven to refresh yourself, you need to strength your bond with your husband so that you two together can weather this storm.” And that’s as it should be because I can no longer even attempt to control my son and whatever decisions he makes – good or bad – I give over to the LORD, asking the LORD to have mercy on him and his choices. This morning’s devotion that blew me away:
I am a God who heals. I heal broken bodies, broken minds, broken hearts, broken lives, and broken relationships. My very Presence has immense healing powers you cannot live close to Me without experiencing some degree of healing. However, it is also true that you have not because you ask not. You receive the healing that flows naturally from My Presence, whether you seek it or not. But there is more – much more – available to those who ask.
The first step in receiving healing is to live ever so close to Me. The benefits of this practice are too numerous to list. As you grow more and more intimate with Me, I reveal My will to you more directly. When the time is right, I prompt you to ask for healing of some brokenness in you or another person. The healing may be instantaneous, or it may be a process. That is up to Me. Your part is to trust Me fully and to thank Me for the restoration that has begun.
I rarely heal all the brokenness in a person’s life. Even My servant Paul was told “My grace is sufficient for you,” when he sought healing for the thorn in his flesh. Nonetheless, much healing is available to those whose lives are intimately interwoven with Mine. Ask, and you will receive.
Pretty powerful, isn’t it? All the key words placed on my heart this morning were in the love letter from God!!! He hears, He knows, He is guiding me, leading me and has me safe in His hands. He has been leading me here to this time and place for almost a year. Looking back I can see it: my desire to truly know Him as my LORD and Savior, placing godly girlfriends in my life to support me, encourage me but more importantly to remind me to laugh (thank you to my special group of friends – you know who you are but you will never realize the impact you have made). My participation in the Hidden Joy study and the wonderful friends that I made through that study – thank you to you girlfriends, you too will never know the impact you have made, even though we have never meet I feel a special connection with each one of you ladies. My healing through the Hidden Joy study to once and for all heal from my sexual abuse; thereby allowing my marriage to heal and strengthen, to see my husband as my safe haven when, not if, but when the storms come.
And seeing all of that I know without a shadow of doubt, with full trust and faith He will bring us through this too – no matter the outcome. My only request is that my son have a close and personal relationship with Jesus, serving Him with his life when this is all said and done. I pray too that our family grows closer and stronger to each and Him through the trials we are about to face. I won’t ask that this be removed from us – I just ask that we grow in love and respect for each other. It is through the trials, that we grow, that we seek Jesus and that we come out stronger. His death on the Cross is proof of that. Hold us close dear Jesus, strengthen us and show us Your mercy. In Jesus’ Name I ask. Amen!