A Confident Heart ~ Week 2, Day 3

Assignment for Wednesday (9/28/11):  Complete the Reflection and Discussion Questions #1-4 on p. 45-46.  Visit Melissa’s blog for a great post today.

1.  Think back to your childhood and your first memory of God.  Describe your image of Him growing up:

Oh hard question to start off with.  My first image!  Wow, why is this so hard?  I have been going to Mass as long as I can remember but we never really talked about God at home.  He was a once a week thing at Mass and I learned about religion at Catholic school but I can say I never really had any discussions about God before adulthood.

I remember at times being afraid of God and being judged.  I can also remember thinking that the Bible were just stories made up by some people.  I never really “got” the full impact of the Bible until 8-10 years ago.  My image was of God being far away and punishing you if you did wrong.  I tried so hard even as a very young child to please Him and my parents.

2.  How does your childhood perception of God compare to what your see in Christ through His interaction with Sam?  List the similarities and the differences.

There are no similarities.  The differences:  He isn’t far away, He is loving and kind, with a gentle voice, not a booming loud yell.  He took the punishment for me and He never judges you.  He will meet you right where you are.

3.  Do you ever feel like you are the only one who struggles with insecurity or doubt?  Why or why not?

All the time, everyone else seems so all together, like they don’t have a care in the world.  Their world – job, husband, kids, home, bank account, appearance, decorating, talents, etc. seem to be so much better compared to me.  My world is filled with so much chaos.  Everyone else just seems so much more confident and sure of themselves.  I still feel like a kid waiting to feel grown up! 

4.  Jesus wants to create a safe place for you to be transparent with Him.  Where you can ask questions and be real about your desires, doubts, disappointments and reams.  he knows you and want s you to really know Him.  Is the thought of this kind of relationship with God comforting or uncomfortable, why?

It is so comforting to me because He is my Creator, and I want so much to be transparent and real.  I am so tired of feeling like I have to hide or being ashamed of how I feel, even if my thinking is incorrect.  I just want to be me.  I want to talk about all that I feel, to say out loud my dreams, doubts, disappointments without worrying about how it sounds or what someone thinks of me.

It’s uncomfortable too because I don’t know who I am.  How can I be real when I am unsure who that is?  How do I get to know the real me?

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5 thoughts on “A Confident Heart ~ Week 2, Day 3

  1. There’s my twin again, lol. The things you’re saying in questions 3 & 4 are me to a T. Especially the last part about not knowing who you really are. Also in question 3 when you said you feel like a kid waiting to feel grown up. That’s exactly how I feel.

    • How can we know who we really are, when God formed us and knew us in before we were born? So my question is how can we truly become the image of God, when we don’t know ourselves?

  2. Thank you for posting these, I may have to go back to the beginning and start over with day one week one, But when I saw this question instantly I had the answer. My first image of God was when my dad lifted me up to him to be cared for while he fought a fire. Although this was a dream I had as a child, it stuck with me because even now, there’s no one who can take better care of us then God. That memory has stayed with me ever since.

  3. My first memory of God was through a “mourners bench.” As an elementary age, black girl from the south, the mourners bench was how you “got your religion.” Since I could never jump off the bench and react like the others (crying, running and screaming) people would always tell me that I didn’t have anything (a religion) and God was not pleased with me just sitting on the bench night after night. I never really had an image of Him or how He looked, I just grew up being afraid what He could do. Since a child, I have believed that all of my struggles in life are directly related to me reaping for the all the many wrongs that I’ve sown. Whereas it’s a different feeling and a relief when Jesus tells me to, as He told Sam, “to go and sin no more.” In my mind, I am the only one struggling because in my circle of friends and people that I come in contact with, they seem to not have any worries or fall on hard times. I know God loves me, but I haven’t fully accepted who God made me to be, and who I am in Christ. I can’t believe that I am still loved in spite of me. I feel guilty and it breaks my heart when I can’t feel like I’m a child of the King.

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