A Confident Heart ~ Week 2 Thoughts, Part 2….

As I drove to work I felt lighter and happier then I ever have before.  I never realized the weight I had been carrying around, how it was dragging me down and making me tired.  As I was driving I was continued talking with Him and telling Him “I will give you all the control in my life, I can’t do it, so You direct me.  I want to follow Your will for my life.”  My friend kept popping into my head and I kept remembering how she said she would trust Jesus even though it hurt, she would follow Him.  I felt God prod me and say “tell her.”  But I dismissed it (see how quickly I took back control, lol).  I got to work and I felt Him say “tell her.” I dismissed it.  I felt it again and I said “look God I am not writing a message to someone that is a FB friend and never really talked to, that’s crazy” but all morning long so I finally said “FINE, I will write the message but I am NOT sending it”  So I wrote the letter and then 15 minutes later I felt a tap (kid you not, freaked me out a bit) no one was there.  So I said “I am NOT sending it Lord, she will think I am crazy or a stalker!”  Well I couldn’t get any work done and I was tired of being bugged so I sent the letter, I did put in the letter, I am NOT a stalker!!!

Almost immediately a reply came back that said “thank you!  Your letter was an answer to my prayer.”  I learned from that – always do what God asks of you!  He may be using you as an answer to someone else’s prayer. 

That weekend at church I saw in the bulletin that the Diocese was looking for an Executive Secretary and I had all the requirements.  So I took that as a sign.  I submitted my resume and said “God I am not going to stress about this, it’s in Your Hands, whatever comes, comes.  I thank You for the chance though.”

By November I had some wonderful godly girlfriends, I felt God’s presence in my life and I had an interview.  It was less than one month since my retreat!

I hadn’t interviewed in over 16 years and I was so nervous.  As I was leaving my parking lot to go to my interview I hit a car in the parking lot.  The city had recently repainted the lines at the parking lot and it was more narrow and very tight, a truck in the first row didn’t pull all the way into the space and was hanging out, but I thought I could squeeze past the car next to me.  No such luck I hit it pretty good.  I looked up and said “Really, God!!!”  No one was around, no one saw it and there was no damage to my SUV….this is when faith steps in.  I left a note, with all my contact information and went to my interview.  I thought I bombed that interview, I was nervous and then they asked the question “what does integrity mean to you?” and I told them about hitting the car.  They said we won’t call any of your references unless we offer you the job and we still have several people to interview.  Which to me said – thanks but no thanks.  As I left I was okay with it.

Next day I go into work and my supervisor said “I got a call for a reference for you”  I couldn’t believe it.  After I was offered the job, I spoke to my boss, my boss of 16 years and said “I have been offered another job, at the end of the week I will find out all the details.”  He looked at me and said “what can I do to keep you here?  Why are you leaving?”  We had a long conversation and I spoke to from my heart telling him the issues I was having and why.  He said “think about it, I want to keep you.”  Now I had two job offers and I didn’t know which way to go.  I prayed “Lord, where do you want me?” 

In the end for a variety of reasons I decided to stay at my current employer and I haven’t regretted my decision.  When I declined the other offer, I apologized for wasting their time and explained the whole story to them and how my boss reacted when I said I was leaving.  She said “that is better than any reference or resume, I definitely want you on my staff now.  Tell your boss I will keep trying to get you.” 

The Lord answered every one of my prayers in a way that left no doubt who was in control!  The past year has still been filled with heart ache and troubles, some I am going through now.  I have had my days and nights filled with tears and thinking my heart would break but I remember I asked for that too! 

I asked for healing and God led me to the Hidden Joy Bible Study.  I asked for godly women friends and did he ever deliver:  there are the 3 musketeers or 3 stooges – we aren’t quite sure which one we resemble, lol.  There are my Fun Bus gals.  My Hidden Joy girlfriends and some new friends from A Confident Heart and my friend who although miles apart has always been there for me ever since we met in an AOL chat room almost 12 years ago!

So as I get ready to leave this morning on my Silent Retreat again I thank God for all that He has given me this year and to let Him know I will meet Him in the middle of the labyrinth again this year.  We have more talking to do but this year – I will do all the listening!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD.  “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

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One thought on “A Confident Heart ~ Week 2 Thoughts, Part 2….

  1. Wow, thats’ beautiful. I can’t even say anything else right now. That’s what I want, I want to get on the same page as the Lord & listent to him, really listen to him & follow him. I’ve got that messed up at the moment & am not sure how to go about fixing it. The no feeling thing tells me that if I’m not feeling it then why do it. I’ve been listening to that for too long. This is such an encouraging post. I can’t wait to read about this years retreat. Have Fun!

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