Good Enough…..

Today has been a mixture of emotions all day long.  First I slept maybe one hour last night so I am exhausted and on edge already and then the devil tries to get my focus on other things instead of God.  I started having some feelings jealousy rise, feelings of not being able to say the right things and not feeling important and good enough. 

The one thing that I kept thinking about today was how rejection defined me my whole life.  I started to feel that on and off all day today but I never let it get far and I kept remembering how the LORD spoke to me several years ago when I was in despair. I cried out in a lost and broken heart at a time of being rejected once again by someone close to me “just once, once in my life I want to matter so much to someone, that they stand up and fight for me – just once can’t I be loved that much?” and clear as if He was in the room with me, my LORD spoke and said…..

“Veronica I do and I did” 

What else is there to say to that?  He does and He did ~ then, now and forever!  I will hold tight to that.

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3 thoughts on “Good Enough…..

  1. Well that sums it up for sure. I so look forward to my head and heart truly believing that HE loves me like that, I get it for others and don’t question it, but when it’s for me I doubt it or question it. Getting there but really want to believe it!

  2. How full well I understand this…it defined my life as well. Still to this day, I struggle with it. Even though I KNOW that nothing else and NO ONE else matters in their love or view of me and only the love of Christ is all I need to sustain and satisfy me….it is still so very hard to let go of deep desires in my heart to be accepted, affirmed and loved wholeheartedly by another – even my husband – and the thoughts of “if he TRULY loved me, he would _____.” I know there is a lesson in all of this, and I’m so tired of failing it and having to redo the lesson. Maybe one day, I’ll truly get it….even though I already got it!

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