Patience – that is the word that has been coming to me all day. It started with me waking up extremely late. When I went to bed I was thinking it was Tuesday, when I woke up I realized my horrible mistake – it was Thursday and I had Eucharistic Adoration at 4:00 a.m. I felt horrible, wondered what the person waiting on me would think or say to me next week. I felt Jesus say to me – Be Patient with Yourself. That got me to thinking….
If you knew me you would know that I have very little patience and almost none with myself. It is something I have always struggled with all my life but I have noticed lately it has gotten worse. As I thought on this I was wondering what has changed that made me even less patient than normal.
As I questioned myself and life events I stopped to get fuel in my car. Went inside to pay and guess what God thought I needed some practice in patience – the lady in front of my was taking forever ~ 12 minutes to pay for her soda. I was getting irritable and edgy. Jesus whispered to me PATIENCE. Okay…..
As I waited I texted someone and was getting really irritated that this person didn’t text me right back. I called my husband and of course he didn’t answer his phone. AND that got my attention….
I am used to everything being so instantaneous, so now when I have to wait it is much harder to do. But I remember waiting in anticipation
- for the mail to come each day wondering if there was a letter or card in the mail from someone special.
- Wondering if there would be a loved one’s voice on the answering machine when I got home.
- Dinner at the table with my family talking about everyone’s day and the great things that happened and even the things that weren’t great.
- Waiting in great anticipation for my friends to deliver their babies, wondering a boy or girl, wonder what names they will choose when they find out.
- I dread all the junk mail that comes each day.
- If I don’t answer my phone, they just keep calling over and over.
- I am updated all through the day and dinner is just a meal now.
- The sex of the baby is known very early and the parents start calling the baby by its name already…some of the suspense and excitement is gone.
We rarely look with anticipation anymore, now we look for instant gratification. And if we don’t get it, we become moody, irritated and are grumpy to those around us ~ from our spouse, children, co-workers and cashiers at the grocery store. We snap at people and give dirty looks to the mom with a cart full of groceries and a whole bunch of little ones, instead of blessing her we get mad because it takes her twice as long to empty her shopping cart.
I remember coming home from school, if it was my mom’s day off she would be sitting in the front yard sipping iced tea – that’s all, that’s how she spent her time. Neighbors would stop by and talk and she had the time to talk – she didn’t ignore them, her day wasn’t jammed with thousands of to-dos. She was able to enjoy her afternoon. When was the last time you had time to just be?
Getting on Facebook during lunch this is what I came across:
Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them ~ every day begin the task anew. ~St. Francis de Sales.