Thank You so very much for using my words yesterday to touch so many ladies. I am humbled at the thought that I would be able to reach anyone and make a difference. Then I realize it’s not me, it’s all about You working through me and wow does that bring a smile to me.
All my life all I wanted to do was help people and ease their hurting even for a short time but I never felt like I had much to offer anyone. People would ask me “what would you do if you even won the lottery?” I respond “I need to play the lottery first in order to win” but then I smile and say “I would have a blast giving all the money away to those who need it” Funny thing is no one ever doubts that I would do so. When family or friends describe me they use words as: caring, giving, ready to help anyone and everyone.
So why do I feel like I have nothing to offer? Why do I doubt my own abilities? I finally know the answer to that and it came in the form of waking up with a horrible migraine and slowing me down. All week-long I have been so focused on getting my house de-cluttered, decorated and arranged in a perfect way that I have been driving myself to exhaustion. In other words I have been Martha all week-long ~ trying to do everything on MY strength. Today the migraine slowed me down to be Mary sitting at Your feet and listening to You.
The other thing You brought to me this morning: all those beautiful ladies and their comments expressing how much my post yesterday touched them. And it dawned on me – without FB I would never have “met” these lovely ladies, I wouldn’t have struggled through the feelings I was having, I wouldn’t have felt that FB was draining me and maybe it was time to give it up completely, I wouldn’t have felt lonely or sad and I wouldn’t have written a blog post that touched them. and at that moment I felt peace and I knew You were showing me something important.
I had been so focused on the bad feelings I was having about FB that I was missing the message You were trying to lay upon my heart. I finally got it though after seeing the comments and reading my private messages.
You were trying to teach me that I need to set boundaries for myself and learn to have self-control. Not to turn to FB when I feel lonely, sad or invisible but to turn to You at those times. Instead I felt lonely, sad and invisible so my solution was to give up FB completely. You showed me though that all I was doing was avoiding a situation I didn’t like. That instead of looking for the deeper issue I was running away and throwing out the good in order to get rid of the bad. that stopped me and made me think.
Yep, that’s my old pattern of perfectionism “I want it my way and if it makes me feel bad or feel too much I want to avoid it at all costs.” Then came a thought that humbled me and brought tears to my eyes You ARE using me in an awesome way, I do have something to offer and instead of thinking there will be smooth sailing and no bumps in the road while serving You I need to turn to You through the bumps ~ that’s when I will grow closer and more intimately in You! Which brought me to this Scripture:
Therefore, since we are justified by faith, we have peace with God through our LORD Jesus Christ. Through him we have obtained access to this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in our hope of sharing the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. ~ Romans 5:1-5
My study Bible notes for the above Scripture:
The justified are endowed with virtues. By FAITH they live in peace with God and have access to His grace; in HOPE they long for the glory of God that awaits them; and through LOVE they show that the charity of the Spirit dwells in their hearts. Equipped in this way, believers can become more like Christ through endurance and suffering.
You LORD didn’t run away from the Cross and Your death because You lived out Your Father’s will for the good of us sinners. And although FB can’t compare to Your death I was running away from the good just as much as the bad. Thank You for getting my attention and for all You have whispered to my heart and soul. Once again I am in awe of Your love for me and that I do have much to offer to You and therefore, I should never compare my offerings to what other people have to offer.
I am not less ~ I am just me as You made me to be, wonderfully and fearfully made in Your image. I feel so full and complete right now, I wish I could bottle this feeling up for later. In the words of Your mother Mary:
Behold, I am the handmaid of the LORD; let it be done to me according to your will.
I desire to fulfill Your will in my life.