Made to Crave ~ Finding Your “Want To”
Official start to the Made to Crave journey begins today ~ January 15, 2012. For more information, click here to be directed to Melissa Taylor’s website.
As I was reading this chapter I have to admit I don’t know what it’s like to struggle with weight issues. Unless my thyroid is acting up my weight is pretty consistent at 110-120. For most of my life, until my thyroid issues 7 years ago, I wore a size 4 or 6. When my thyroid acts up I can start the month wearing a size 4 and end the month wearing a size 12, but I also know adjusting my meds will bring the weight off.
So why am I doing this study? Because even though my weight doesn’t reflect it (thanks to the genes I inherited from my dad) I am very unhealthy. My lack of energy, lack of stamina, lack of strength and lack of muscles to move even the lightest piece of furniture, carry more than one bag of groceries at a time or to be able to walk around the block, those remind me often.
Because I hate to eat!!! I find eating a waste of time when I can be doing other things. I hate deciding what to eat, the preparation and the clean for the 5-10 minutes of eating. Except for my downfall – sweets!!! They are quick, easy and readily available. My home cookbook has 4-5 entree recipes and the then the rest is filled with every cake, pie and cookie recipe I can find.
I wake up daily and my first thought is “ugh – another day of answering what’s for dinner?” I dread it, I hate it and wish I had a handy dandy contraption like on the Jetson’s – push a button and a full meal in seconds. If I ever won the lottery I would hire a personal chef.
Recently I went to the dr. thinking my thyroid was off again because I was experiencing extreme tiredness, headaches, lack of concentration and no desire to get out of bed. Because of my health issues I keep a daily log of my food intake. My dr. reviewed this and told me “you are not eating enough to sustain life. Your body is shutting down – you need to start eating more.” Most days showed I was eating only 800 calories if I was lucky. Thyroid test came back perfect! I need to change my eating habits before I do serious damage to my body or worse.
Things I know that contribute to my hatred about food:
- My mom struggled with her weight constantly – she weighed everything she ate all the time.
- My mom did not like sweets so only on rare occasions did we eat. Cereal was corn flakes or kix. Pancakes and waffles were topped with fruit not syrup. Ice cream was sherbet only. Snacks consisted of a piece of fruit, raw veggies or a salad.
- The only time we had sweets were on our birthdays we got one piece of cake. On Thanksgiving we got one piece of mince meat pie (what the heck is mince meat pie anyway?)
- From the age of 17 until 33 I have had over 25 surgeries (lost count after 25). The most scariest and devastating one happened 10 years ago. Due to lots of testing, poking and prodding I thought I was going in for a routine gallbladder surgery. What I heard instead was “yes, your gallbladder needs removed and immediately but….” I also heard “…..you will most likely need a liver transplant as well” Very long story but thanks to God I made it through surgery and although my liver isn’t perfect I have not needed a transplant. How does this relate to my food issues? Because the foods I grew up on and were my easy go to food: fresh or steamed veggies, fruits and salads are no longer tolerated. In order to eat a meal now I have to take into consideration so many things and I have to start planning to eat BEFORE I am hungry. Do you know how hard that is when I hate to eat????
- Eating can cause me lots of pain for days at a time.
As I finished the introduction chapter though I knew this journey isn’t going to be just about eating and struggling with food. It’s about any struggle that:
- Keeps you in the cycle of making excuses, giving in, feeling guilty, resolving to do better, mentally beating yourself up, feeling like a failure and then believing nothing can change (page 13-14)
- Causes you to make excuses instead of change
- That leaves you unsatisfied, lacking, incomplete, hollow, shallow and asking what do I still lack? (pg 14)
- Deciding that no matter what struggle you are facing today that you are tired of settling and tired of compromising
- Deciding to break free from all the guilt, all the destruction and all the defeat (page 18)
What’s your struggle? Mine is food and procrastination!! Will you join me to break the cycle, to gain freedom and to gain control over your cravings?
If anyone would come after Me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me. ~Mark 8:34
I am looking forward to this journey spiritually, physically and mentally to allow God’s glory to shine through me and crave HIM above all else.
If you would like to join in the journey of the online Bible study of Made to Crave by Lysa TerKeurst – beginning on January 16, 2012 go to Melissa Taylor’s Blog to sign up and for more information. Look forward to you joining us!