Week 1 of Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Study ~ Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst
“Look mom, we cleaned our room!” shouted my four year old son. One look and I came unglued! “HOW HARD IS IT TO PUT YOUR CARS IN THE CAR BUCKET? YOUR ARMY MEN IN THE ARMY BUCKET? YOUR SISTER’S DOLLS IN THE DOLL BUCKET? OH NO, INSTEAD THEY ARE ALL THROWN IN ONE BIG PILE!!!!” Turning around I started in on my husband, “Thanks a lot! I thought you were going to help me! I should have done it myself in the first place!”
Mom of the year or decade I was NOT, the saddest part, I can’t even remember the looks on my children’s faces. I do remember my husband saying to me, “If you want perfection from a four and one year old, you will always be disappointed. That makes me sad for you.” OUCH!!!
Perfection was always expected of me. I knew no other way. I was raised with the expectation of perfection, “if you are going to do something, do it perfectly, there is NO other way!” The motto in my family home. I wanted to change that for my own home, I just didn’t know how.
Fast forward ten years later…
“Mom what can I do to help you?” asked my daughter. “Megan if you can’t see what needs to be done and then do it, don’t bother! I swear I have to do everything around here. You all enjoy family coming over while I have to make sure everything is done!” I yell. The next words my daughter says to me breaks my heart and makes me have a huge amount of respect for her (I wish I could have said something like that to my parents.)
“If Jesus’ birth means a perfectly cleaned house and yelling every year….I wish He hadn’t been born, it doesn’t make Christmas Eve fun.” says my 11 year old daughter. OUCH OUCH OUCH.
Right then I stopped what I was doing and I gained a new perspective. Never did I want my daughter or anyone else to remember Christmas or any other get together that way. I decided to let my perfectionist tendencies go.
Has it been easy? Uh, NO! I have went from all or nothing attitude. I have had a hard time finding a middle ground, however, holidays and family get celebrations are a lot more fun around here. I haven’t yelled in years. I don’t care which bucket things go in as long as they are picked up and my daughter loves celebrating Jesus’ birth all year long.
I would say that’s progress!
Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Study is having their very first BLOG HOP ~ check it out!!!